Thursday, October 31, 2013

Letting Go

So today was History Day at school, and Dancer decided to go as Queen Hatshepsut of Egypt. And I, glutton for punishment that I am, decided to "make" her costume. One men's t-shirt, some silver posterboard, and a lot of super glue later...I began to doubt myself.

I thought she looked great - but what about the other kids? What about all the other moms who are truly crafty or just had more money to buy some awesome costume? Oh my gosh what have I done? was my general thought. I am scarring my child for LIFE with my only so-so craftiness.

But then, when we got to school, one of Dancer's friends ran up and exclaimed, "Dancer, you look BEAUTIFUL."

I wanted to cry. She looked so proud, she simply glowed. And she told her friend that my momma made it. They discussed the beads, and the colors, and which ones were the best. Her crown, too, got a lot of attention.

It made me realize something very important...that I will probably forget within days. I am so much harder on myself than I realize. My inner voice doesn't give me much credit - for love, for effort, for anything. How did my inner self become so freakin' critical?!

But Dancer...she really likes her costume. She's proud of what her momma made her. Her friends liked it (which, let's face it...that's important). And she's not any better or worse off than any other child in that class in the costume department. Some of the crowns were more elaborate, some less. Some had ripped up sheets glued or sewn to shirts as mummies. Some were store bought, some weren't. What mattered was that the kids were having a great time. And nobody was thinking....wow, Dancer's mom really dropped the ball there.

So today I'm trying hard to let go of the perpetual mom beat down. God has blessed me with wonderful children. They are my heart. And they love me. They're proud of me. That's worth listening to, not the endless loop of criticism in my head.

Go forth and conquer, moms! And have a little fun doing it.

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