I broke my own rule.
I knew better....but I did it anyway.
WHAT? you ask. What did I do?
Well, as my good friend Maria would say, "Let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start!"
I sat on the couch, minding my own business - and feeding Noah (to be precise). Diva had been in her room for a few minutes...Dancer was at school. I suddenly realized, "Oh, no! I need to get the laundry moving!"
Good and generous mommy that I am, I called out to Diva, willing and ready to give her an opportunity to be helpful.
"Diva sweetie, come here for a minute!!!!"
When she walked into the room she was holding her throat, working the muscles and grimacing mightily. I wondered, but I did not ask. It's just my policy, you know? Unless there's screaming, blood spurting, or visible bone....just don't ask.
So I told her to get the towels out of the dryer, and just kept my head down. It took her five trips to get the towels to the couch. Mostly because she was using ONE HAND. The other stayed on her throat, while she occasionally coughed, swallowed, and rubbed.
Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore.
"What is wrong with your throat?" I asked.
"There's lotion in my throat." she says.
Now, I should have stopped while I was ahead. I mean, really...at that point, was anything she said going to make sense? But, nooooooo! I just had to ask.
"How did lotion get in your throat?"
Slumping her shoulders and tucking her chin into her chest, she says "I don't know."
"You don't know! What, did you squirt lotion and it just flew into your throat? Did you put some lotion on your hands and just....eat it? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?"
"NO!" she says. And then, in her most indignant voice, "I put it on the BACK of my hand!"
She put lotion on the back of her hand and just decided for no apparent reason to taste it.
So after determining that we were talking about the Medicated Gold Bond Lotion from the bathroom, we flushed the affected area with water and waited for the cold rather tingly sensation to fade. Don't worry, I checked with the pediatrician - there won't be any permanent damage.